Bereavement & Loss
Loss is very much part of life. But that doesn't make it easy.
Losing someone close to us, be it through death or separation, leaves us feeling lost, vulnerable and insecure. And if that loss is sudden or unexpected, we can be left traumatised.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, nor any hard and fast rules about how long it 'should' take. Counselling is highly effective at helping us understand, accept and adjust to change, and gently enable us to move on with our lives.
Losing a parent, a spouse, a child, a friend or a pet is never easy. Some clients describe this time as being like they have lost apart of themselves. Some are paralysed by the fear of staring into the darkness of an unknown future. Some describe how alone they feel, especially if they feel unable to burden others with their loss, the mourning continuing for many months and sometimes years after the funeral has ended.
Counselling can be very helpful at this point in life. A trained therapist will be able to guide you through the range of feelings, help you to overcome 'stuck' feelings sometimes many years after the event, adjust to the change and build a vision for the future.
Anger, betrayal, blame, bitterness. Confusion, rejection, loneliness. And lots and lots of questions.
The demise of a relationship impacts not only on the two individuals concerned, but can have a lasting impact on any children affected.
Most of the time, counsellors are approached when relationships are already in significant trouble. Distancing behaviours, arguments, lack of intimacy, withdrawal, affairs and other forms of sabotage mark the downward spiral of a relationship. Recovering from this is daunting. Sometimes, it feels easier to simply cut ties and start again, to use blame and anger to defend ourselves from the hurt and rejection we are feeling.
Counselling can help us to make sense of what has happened, and to challenge the assumptions we have about a partner, or parents behaviour, and instead take the lessons learned in life.
By treating relationship loss in a similar way to that of bereavement, counsellors are able to help get yourself back on your feet so that you can build a new future without being continually haunted by the past.